My son, eat honey, for it is good, Yes, the honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.
I just finished a large project that I had volunteered to do. I had no idea how long it was going to take. I found myself feeling very resentful at times. I'm a lot better at saying "no" these days, but apparently still have some room to go. Always having been a "good girl," I have found myself being taken advantage of many times. I have always been "nice." Saying "no" feels mean.
I notice the people who say "no," though, are oftentimes respected more. I have strengthened my "no" muscle, but it still needs practice. But, having committed myself, I trudged through. I was reminded of two verses as I was plodding through this project. One, about counting the cost before you begin something, as in, do I have enough time and energy to do this?, and two, about making good on your promises even if it hurts.
This project was one that most people would have gotten paid for. I figured my husband and I could have gone to Italy and Greece for a couple weeks with what I should have been compensated. Sigh. Sometimes I think I have a sign on my back that says, "Hey, I'm a really nice person. Feel free to take advantage of me."
And here, I definitely remembered the verse in 1 Timothy about the worker deserving his wages!
Really, I'm not blaming anyone here but myself. After all, I'm the one who said "yes." No one twisted my arm.
So what does this have to do with honey bees?
I was originally going to write today about the bee at the top of my blog header. Before I dumped out my frustrations here. But now I see how I can tie these two disparate subjects together.
Why is there a bee in my header? Lovely Karen, who designed my blog, originally had a crown there. It didn't seem quite what I was going for.
In a brilliant flash of insight, my daughter suggested putting a bee there. "Deborah" means bee in Hebrew.
Now, I have never liked my name. There are a whole lot of us from a certain era with that name. Four of the 11 ladies in my book club have that name. There's a Deb, a Debby, a Debra, and me, Deborah. With apologies to my friends, whom I love, I don't like any version of the name. I have gone my whole life disliking it, and wishing I had gotten my sister's name, Sarah. But what if there was a way to see my name differently, to turn it into something beautiful, something I could embrace and be proud of?
I have seen my name translated "busy bee." That doesn't suit me at all. It sounds like "busybody," or some frantic, uptight Type A personality, buzzing around, stirring things up, and generally being a nuisance. Granted, I could see it in a positive light, like being productive and responsible. Good traits, for sure, and necessary in life, but honestly, it doesn't sound like much fun. A drudge, a drone.
I came across the translation "honey bee." Now there was an idea. The idea of being someone who brings sweetness into the lives of others. Who gathers goodness from her environment and shares it with everyone. Who takes time to smell the roses. Literally! Now, I like that. It fits in with the purpose of my blog, which is to share beautiful things, to realize that the beautiful matters.
Honey bees spend their whole lives gathering and sharing good things. Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that a lovely model for a life well lived?
|Honey by Marc Jacobs, a Mother's Day gift. This will be my summer perfume. Cute bottle a major bonus.|
Now how to tie in with my earlier rant? A honey bee also possesses a stinger. Threaten it, and it will remind you, in no uncertain way, that it is not to be messed with. I could learn a little from that. It's okay to protect myself. By saying "no" sometimes. By not hanging around with negative, judgmental, and bossy people. By not allowing others to dictate what I should do or how I should feel.
That honey bee commands some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, in the words of Aretha Franklin.
Bringing loveliness and sweetness and beauty to those around me, but setting appropriate boundaries. That little bee, that Deborah, can teach me some things.