I have spent the past two weeks facing the possibility of a deadly form of cancer. I am so thankful to report that all looks well; no cancer. A follow-up appointment in four months just to be completely sure.
I can't tell you what I've been through in two weeks' time. I'm sure some of you have been through a cancer scare; all of these new tests we have are a blessing, but can also be a burden and can create so much worry.
All kinds of things go through your mind. You go to the worst-case scenario, and play it out. "I'm never going to see any grandchildren; I won't see two of my children even get married. I won't grow old with my husband."
I had already started thinking about what I might leave as tokens of my love for friends and family.
And I spent a lot of time in my Bible, about the only thing that brought me peace.
There were times I would "forget" about my health for a little while, and then the possibility of serious illness and death would come rushing back, leaving me short of breath, stomach flip-flopping.
I can't express how thankful I am for this life. This short, precious life we've been given. This has reminded me, again, to be grateful for all that I have, to be kind to everyone I meet, and to love others well.
One thing that gave me great peace was to realize that if I had only a short time left there is nothing I would rather do than what I'm doing right now. I wouldn't feel regret that I wasn't spending my time doing _____ (whatever; fill in the blank). I wouldn't feel cheated that I never got to Greece or Italy; Heaven is going to be so much more beautiful. I would be glad to spend my days doing exactly what I'm doing now, taking care of family and friends, doing a little writing and creating, hopefully trying to make my corner of the world a little more beautiful.
Another thing I realized is that there is no one that I need to forgive or made amends with. All of my relationships are "settled." Not perfect, but no loose ends. That is also a good feeling.
But I am so grateful for the opportunity to live longer; there really are so many things, given the opportunity, I want to do and see and learn. And so many people I want to love on.
Thanks for listening, friends, and I do hope you thank our Lord for this one beautiful, precious life we've been given. I know I am thanking Him.